Sayadaw U Tejaniya's personal experience with multiple episodes of depression is a significant aspect of his background and profoundly shaped his approach to mindfulness meditation. His struggle with depression, which occurred during his time as a lay householder running a business, motivated him to develop his skills in mental self-investigation (Dhamma vicaya) to an extraordinary level.
Sayadaw U Tejaniya's Experience with Depression
- Three Episodes of Depression: Sayadaw U Tejaniya has mentioned being depressed three times in his life.
- The First Two Episodes (Effort without Wisdom):
- The first two times, he overcame the depression by making a strong effort to "snap himself out of it."
- However, these recoveries did not last long, and each time the depression returned, it came back stronger.
- He later understood that in these first two instances, he had used effort but "no wisdom," meaning no real understanding of the underlying causes.
- The Last Episode (The Shift to Wisdom):
- During the final and strongest depressive episode, he had no energy left to make a forceful effort. The depression was pervasive and followed him everywhere.
- This lack of energy forced a critical shift in his approach, leading him to rely on the qualities he had already developed through his practice since age fourteen: objective observation and non-involvement.
律 The Meditation Approach Used to Overcome Depression
The critical shift in his practice during the last episode of depression became the hallmark of his teaching style: the application of awareness with understanding (wisdom).
- Recognition and Non-Personalization: Instead of fighting the depression, his practice centered on just recognizing the depression and being present with it. He would recognize that the depression was simply "nature," a quality of the mind, and "not personal."
- Investigative Interest (Wisdom at Work): With an attitude he describes as "interest," he continuously watched the depression to learn about it. He investigated:
- Does it go away?
- Does it increase?
- What is the mind thinking?
- How do the thoughts affect feelings?
- The Role of Interest and Relief: He found that when he approached the work with interest, the investigation brought some relief. Before this, he felt he was "at the depression's mercy," but through investigation, he learned he could actually do something.
- Letting Go of Forced Effort: His experience taught him the importance of discerning Right Effort from wrong, forced effort. When one tries too hard, one squanders energy and creates tension. His teaching encourages a relaxed but continuous manner of practice.
Core Teachings Informed by the Experience
His experience with depression cemented his unique emphasis in Vipassanā (mindfulness) meditation:
- The Importance of Awareness and Wisdom: He emphasizes that awareness alone is not enough; the desire to truly understand what is going on is much more important. The real value of meditation is the process of being aware and understanding, not the objects observed or the results (like peace).
- Mindfulness in Everyday Life: Because he practiced intensively while working and fulfilling family responsibilities, his teaching strongly emphasizes practicing mindfulness all the time, in every moment and posture—not just while sitting on a cushion.
- The Attitude of the Observing Mind: His core teaching is that the quality of the observing mind is more important than the object of attention. It is crucial to be aware of the mind's attitude—is it greedy, chaotic, relaxed, or contracted? He stresses that any suffering that occurs is not in the object but in the mind's relationship to the object (e.g., aversion or greed).
- Don't Look Down on Defilements: The title of his book, Don't Look Down on the Defilements, They Will Laugh at You, reflects his lesson from depression: you must acknowledge and observe the mind's weaknesses (defilements like greed, aversion, and delusion) for wisdom to grow. You cannot have a complete picture if you only want to see your "good sides."